A Powerful Positivity Tool: The NLP Cybernetic Loop (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)
The NLP Cybernetic Loop: A Powerful Tool for Positivity
There is a wonderful tool I learned from an NLP training that is often the catalyst into the more positive moments in my life. This tool is called the cybernetic loop. When I am feeling low, I imagine it in my mind and decide where I am going to enter the circle to lift my spirits. It often reminds me of a traffic circle as you can pop into it consciously from one of three inroads to positivity and wellbeing. The circle is continuous no matter where you enter it and as human beings, we loop around it endlessly. The entrances: thoughts, feelings, or actions, affect each other and cause us to spiral, most often unconsciously, down into languishing in life or upwards into flourishing and joy. In moments of being fully aware and present, I am energized by the mere memory of this loop and awed by the power it has in my life, and in my ability to amplify my overall happiness.
Image by Beth Gray (bethgray.coach)
The model calls on our mind/body connection. For example, our thoughts affect our feelings, our feelings then affect our body which sends out hormones and inspires (or defaults to) action, which in turn affects our thoughts and again, evokes feelings and around and around the circle we go. As opposed to traffic circles, one may travel in either direction. We can drop into action and do a random act of kindness which makes us feel good and have positive thoughts. This in turn directionalize the resulting circle towards joy and pleasure which moves us to even more positive thoughts or actions. These thoughts, feelings and actions in turn inspire more good turns, resourceful energy and the gathering good in our lives. We could, alternatively, drop into negative thoughts, which may cause us to take harmful actions which result in such feelings as shame, regret or disappointment. The body responds by slumping shoulders, dispersing less resourceful chemicals or hormones, which causes more brooding, negativity and wallowing in the lack of good in our lives.
Neuroscience has shown us the power we have over this loop, and the fantastic ability we have (with practice) to be the source of our own happiness.
Often when I wake up, coffee, my journals and love of quiet mornings call me. I can sit for a long while and gather good thoughts to begin a spiral upwards into my day by reading inspirational meditations or quotes. On these days I enter by starting with thoughts to set my feelings to spark resourceful actions during the day. Some days, waking up feeling down, I jump into my running shoes and hit the trails to deliberately inspire good by beginning with action. This fuels the positive hormones; I feel good for having taken care of my body and fitness, and the coffee and morning rituals feel even richer with meaning. When I wake up sad or lonely, sometimes I begin with a heartfelt meditation where I have trained myself to summon and focus feelings of love with every breath until I feel the comfort of coherence and I am nestled in the quiet, safe place I am able to hold for myself. In each case, I mindfully notice my place and utilize the cybernetic loop to build my happiness, resilience and broaden my store of resources for the inevitable difficulties of life.
We each have a choice. We can choose to build our resources by learning about tools such as the cybernetic loop in this life to meet its challenges, or we can sleepily be victims of unconscious patterns and faulty thinking. We can step into creating the physiology and resourceful habits of resilience that allow us to better handle difficult events in our lives or we can default into harmful ways of being. Research has shown time and again that positivity, and the habits of positivity more often will precede happiness and success than they will follow. Neuroscience is showing us that the ancient wisdoms, traditions, and practices such as meditation, taming the inner voices and harnessing our innate ability to train our minds shifts our minds and bodies on a physical level to give us strength, resilience, and the ability to live a happier life on all levels. I hope you will use this loop to your advantage and find it to be the resourceful, tangible tool it has been, and continues to be for me.